Jokes to brighten your day

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. Nurse : A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. Divorce: Future tense of Marriage. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Dictionary : A place where success comes before work. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Father: A banker provided by nature. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.